Loving yourself

Loving yourself sounds so easy, right? But it’s actually one of the most difficult and challenging things you do. What does loving yourself actually mean? And why is it so difficult to do?

Let's start with the obvious. You don't take care of yourself because you are too busy taking care of others. You believe it is your job to make sure your wife or husband is happy, your kids are happy, your boss is happy, your friends are happy. It's like you have a never-ending to-do list. You know what the bad thing is? Even after all your efforts, you STILL feel bad because you weren't able to accomplish everything on your list. And you have nothing left in your tank. You put your emotional and physical needs on the back burner. Why do you do this? Why do you put so much pressure on yourself to be a superhero?

It’s not unusual to feel guilty about taking care of yourself. Often, it's because you don’t believe you deserve it. Or you feel it's wrong to put yourself first. You may not do this consciously, but subconsciously it's true. Think about it. Here’s an example: You tell yourself, "I have to make it to this event or Jim will be disappointed." You worked 60 hours this week, been up almost 17 hours putting together a presentation, took care of your sick child and made sure you didn't miss your book club on Thursday night, but you’ll be at Jim’s event even though you are worn out and can barely stand. See what I mean? Subconsciously you are not valuing your physical or mental boundaries which means you are not putting yourself first. You don’t even believe you are worthy of a break. If you valued yourself, you would say no and get that much needed rest.

Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love is different for each person. It could be taking a walk, reading a book, taking a warm bath, meditation, yoga or my favorite; hitting the gym. But self-love means more than just doing the thing or things you love. It also means finding peace within yourself. It’s essential that you rest comfortably within the depths of your being. Rather than finding temporary relief in doing the things that you love, make it permanent by allowing yourself a warm and nurturing attitude toward what gives you joy.