The Mirror My Daughter Held Up: How Kennedy Helped Me Heal the Parts of Myself I Struggled to Love

LifeCoachATL
May 7
3 min read

A blog for dads, by a dad who's still learning

I love all my kids fiercely, but if I’m being real… my youngest, Kennedy, and I used to clash. We didn’t just bump heads—we’d collide. Loudly. Often. And for a long time, I chalked it up to teenage moods or personality differences. But the truth? We’re so much alike, and I just didn’t want to admit that the parts of her that frustrated me were really the parts of myself I hadn’t healed.

As a divorced dad, I already carried guilt. Guilt about not being in the house 24/7. Guilt about missing little moments. And with Kennedy, every disagreement felt like confirmation that I was failing. But it wasn’t until I slowed down, got honest, and actually listened to her that I saw the truth:

She wasn’t the problem.My ego was.

She Told Me How I Made Her Feel—And I Actually Heard Her

One of the hardest, most important days in my fatherhood journey came when Kennedy looked me in the eye and told me how I had made her feel over the years. Not heard. Not safe to be vulnerable. Not loved the way she needed to be.

As a man—and especially as a father—those words shook me. But instead of getting defensive, I sat with them. I sat with myself. And I realized: she wasn’t trying to tear me down. She was inviting me to grow.

Apologizing Changed Everything

I’d always thought being a dad meant being the authority. The rock. The one who doesn’t fold. But I learned something powerful: apologizing to your child isn’t weakness—it’s leadership.

And when I said to Kennedy, “I’m sorry I didn’t love you the way you needed me to. I didn’t know better, but I’m learning now,” something shifted. That wall between us started to crumble.

We started spending intentional time together. Not just as father and daughter, but as humans—sharing stories, laughing, crying, opening up about tough stuff. She started coming to me about things that matter. And our bond? It’s stronger than I ever thought possible.

Here's What I Learned That I Now Teach Other Dads at LifeCoachATL:

1. Stop Leading with Ego—Lead with Empathy

If your kid tells you they feel unseen or unloved, don’t rush to defend yourself. Listen. Reflect. That humility builds trust. And at LifeCoachATL, I help other dads learn how to do exactly that—even when it’s uncomfortable.

2. You Can’t Connect if You’re Not Present

Divorced or not, kids need your presence, not just your provision. That means time, effort, and quality conversations. Put down the phone. Ask real questions. Show them you care in ways they feel.

3. Apologies Are Free—And Life-Changing

It costs nothing to say “I’m sorry,” but it can completely transform your relationship with your child. Kennedy taught me that. And I now teach other men that true confidence comes from being emotionally honest, not emotionally closed off.

At LifeCoachATL, I specialize in helping dads—especially divorced or separated dads—rebuild, reconnect, and strengthen their relationships with their kids. I walk with you through the hard stuff, helping you heal, grow, and show up in ways that last.

If you're ready to change the story between you and your child—don’t wait.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.