March 10, 2022 · 2 min read

You can only change yourself

Dr. Maya Angelo once said "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." How many of us have "habituals" in our lives? Habitual liars, habitual thieves, habitual cheaters, habitual complainers, people who are habitually late? I'm pretty sure at some point you have experienced friends, family or associates who have these characteristics. But the more important question is: why do you put up with it? Why are you so upset at your husband, wife, friend, etc. when they do something negative to you or to someone you know over and over? Why are you surprised about a person who is being themself? Stop acting shocked when people are who they are.

What many people do is make the mistake of trying to change the person. You absolutely cannot change someone else. It’s hard enough to change yourself. Think about all the changes you've tried to make on your own (without hiring a life coach :-)) Now think about how many times you backslid. Hard to keep count huh? So, what in the world makes you think you can change another human being? They must decide they want to change and then they must put in the work to change.

If you have an “habitual” in your life, I will work with you to look at things from a different perspective. Why have you not made the proper adjustments so their behaviors are no longer affecting you? People will only allow you to do what you allow them to do. At some point you have to accept responsibility.

There are two healthy options when dealing with an “habitual”; accept the person as they are or establish and maintain boundaries in the relationship. As your life coach, we will explore both options and you will make the choice that is best for you. This helps reduce anxiety, crying, lonely nights, and disappointments.

This is key: Your confidence plays a huge role in why you allow certain things to slide over and over again. Make your first free appointment and let’s get started!

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