March 10, 2022 · 2 min read

You can only change yourself

Dr. Maya Angelo once said "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." How many of us have "habituals" in our lives? Habitual liars, habitual thieves, habitual cheaters, habitual complainers, people who are habitually late? I'm pretty sure at some point you have experienced friends, family or associates who have these characteristics. But the more important question is: why do you put up with it? Why are you so upset at your husband, wife, friend, etc. when they do something negative to you or to someone you know over and over? Why are you surprised about a person who is being themself? Stop acting shocked when people are who they are.

What many people do is make the mistake of trying to change the person. You absolutely cannot change someone else. It’s hard enough to change yourself. Think about all the changes you've tried to make on your own (without hiring a life coach :-)) Now think about how many times you backslid. Hard to keep count huh? So, what in the world makes you think you can change another human being? They must decide they want to change and then they must put in the work to change.

If you have an “habitual” in your life, I will work with you to look at things from a different perspective. Why have you not made the proper adjustments so their behaviors are no longer affecting you? People will only allow you to do what you allow them to do. At some point you have to accept responsibility.

There are two healthy options when dealing with an “habitual”; accept the person as they are or establish and maintain boundaries in the relationship. As your life coach, we will explore both options and you will make the choice that is best for you. This helps reduce anxiety, crying, lonely nights, and disappointments.

This is key: Your confidence plays a huge role in why you allow certain things to slide over and over again. Make your first free appointment and let’s get started!

Personal coaching · Family coaching · Book a free consultation

Keep reading

More from the journal

September 17, 2026 · 7 min read

Why Employees Don’t Speak Up at Work — Even When You Ask

You’ve been working with your team on a new process for three months. You’ve explained it. You’ve demonstrated it. You’ve sent the follow-up email. And more than once, you’ve stopped the meeting and asked: “Does everybody understand?” Heads nod. “Yep.” “We’re good.” Nobody raises a hand. A team can look completely aligned in the meeting while someone is quietly thinking, “Am I the only one who doesn’t understand this?” So you move on. Three weeks later, you’re fixing a mistake that shouldn’t...

Read this

September 14, 2026 · 4 min read

Why Success Doesn't Feel Like Enough

At some point, you have to ask yourself: Who am I still trying to prove this to? You got the promotion. Built the business. Bought the house. Raised the kids. Became the person everybody can depend on. You accomplished things a younger version of you probably dreamed about. And somehow... it still doesn’t feel like enough. So you take on another project. Set another goal. Say yes when you’re already stretched. Work harder than anybody asked you to. And when you finally accomplish something?...

Read this

September 11, 2026 · 7 min read

Why Accountability Works When You Keep Moving the Goalpost

The Goal Didn’t Move. You Moved the Goalpost. Most of us are pretty good at making plans when everything feels possible. Monday morning. New month. New job. New year. That first burst of motivation hits, and suddenly we know exactly what we’re going to do. “I’m working out four days a week.” “I’m going to stop answering work emails after 6.” “I’m finally going to have that conversation.” “I’m giving myself an hour every day to work on my business.” “I’m not putting this off anymore.” And when...

Read this

Your next chapter is yours to write.

Reading is a start. Doing is the work.

30 minutes. Online. A chance to see if we’re a good fit.