The Jar Don't Lie: How Self-Awareness Builds Lasting Confidence | LifeCoachATL
- LifeCoachATL
- 5 days ago
- 2 min read
You Keep Waiting to Feel Confident.
What if confidence was never supposed to come first?
"I probably just got lucky."
"Anyone could've done that."
"They were just being nice."
"I still don't think I'm ready."
Sound familiar?
Here's what's interesting.
You can receive a compliment...
And explain it away.
You can accomplish something difficult...
And convince yourself it wasn't that big of a deal.
You can get promoted...
Land the client.
Finish the project.
Speak up in the meeting.
And somehow your brain still whispers,
*"Yeah... but that doesn't really count."*
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That's one of the hardest parts about self-doubt.
It doesn't ignore evidence.
It edits it.
Your mistakes become proof that you're not enough.
Your successes become exceptions.
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I see this with lots of the clients I work with.
They'll tell me they don't feel confident.
So instead of trying to convince them they're wrong, we do something different.
We collect evidence.
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One of the tools I use is something I call an **Evidence Jar**.
It's simple.
Every time something happens that challenges the story you've been telling yourself, you write it down.
A compliment.
A difficult conversation you handled well.
A risk you took.
A challenge you overcame.
A project you finished.
A moment you spoke up when you normally would've stayed quiet.
Then you put it in the jar.
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At first, it feels a little silly.
Some (Most lol) clients resist it.
Others are surprised when I point out something that belongs in the jar and they realize,
"You know what... that does count."
Then something interesting happens...
Weeks later...
Months later...
You start reading what you've collected.
And suddenly the story in your head has competition.
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Because your feelings are saying,
"You're not capable."
But the evidence says,
"Then how did you do all of this?"
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One of the biggest lies self-doubt tells is that confidence comes before action.
In my experience, it usually works the other way around.
Action creates evidence.
Evidence builds trust.
Trust becomes confidence.
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That's why coaching isn't simply about changing your thoughts.
It's about helping you collect enough evidence that your old story can no longer survive.
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I've watched clients go from saying,
"I don't think I belong here."
To...
"Maybe I actually do."
Not because I talked them into it.
Because they finally believed what their own life had been proving all along.
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You don't need fake confidence.
You need access to the evidence you've been ignoring.
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That's the kind of work I help people do every day.
Not by pretending self-doubt doesn't exist.
But by helping them build a stronger case for who they really are.
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Pops Prompt
If someone handed you an empty jar today...
What evidence from this past week deserves to go inside?
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